Struggling with contentment…why can’t I be satisfied?

This was a suggested topic, however it is ever so timely.

Definition of Content: in a state of peaceful happiness. 

As human beings, we often:

  1. Compare our lives to others
  2. Put ourselves down
  3. Downplay our achievements

All of which takes us away from the state of peaceful happiness.

I am a strong believer of setting goals, aiming high and thriving for the best of the best in life. We just need to make sure that as we go through this journey towards our goals, we do so with peace abiding within us. I believe if we’re not content, it can either:

(1) Make our goals even harder to reach. If we are constantly comparing our lives with others we do not focus on our goals. We are too busy watching others when we should be channeling our energy and time towards our goals. This takes us of track and ultimately gives us extra work to do. Then we start feeling like we are incompetent, when the reality is that we are more than capable of reaching these goals but we are just distracted.

(2) We actually reach our goals but we start to downplay our achievements so we do not feel like we’ve accomplished much. For me, I noticed this attitude of discontentment when I graduated and obtained a Bachelors degree. Even though I did really well, it was just a ‘keeping it moving’ sort of thing lol. I was proud, but it wasn’t a ‘pat yourself on the back’ type of proud lol. And I remember mentioning it to one of my friends who at the time was congratulating me (love you Caramella), and she said something along the lines of “you should be proud, you worked hard“. I didn’t give myself time to acknowledge that this was a goal that I had set and accomplished. I gave God the glory as always, but looking back now I almost feel ungrateful. We pray for things, get it, and sometimes we’re still not satisfied, why is that? Ok kind of going off topic here, but my point is, we should focus on the present and be proud of where we are.

I thought I was a content person, at least for the most part. Until recently, I have started understanding what it means to be content, and the feeling of peace that comes with it. Life isn’t perfect and I’m not where I want to be yet. But I am on my way to being content in every aspect. Sometimes life experiences, disappointments or set backs can make us feel incompetent and we start to bring ourselves down, start thinking we should be further in life than we currently are. So because we didn’t get the job after going to the interview, we start doubting our abilities. Or we expected by this age we would be earning this or that type of salary and we are not. Especially in this day and age, where for some strange reason we live in a generation where there is so much competition or urgency to get to a certain place in life- but thats another topic in itself. Life does not always work out the way we plan, sometimes its for the best, but the bottom line is, its a part of life. Personally, I believe each and every single person on earth will face disappointments or set backs, everyone has their share. So if you’re in a place where you’re not happy with where you are, do what you can do to get yourself into a better place. But in the mean time, you have the choice to either let it put you down, or see it as preparation, and a way of moulding and building your character.

Some setbacks are just unfortunate, but sometimes you look back and you’re glad it happened because it made you the person you are today, you learn from it and appreciate things differently. For example, I’m glad that I failed one of my A Level units in first year of college because it let me know that I need to put in more work. So I was given the chance to re-sit the exam and do better. Looking back I’m glad it happened in first year and not second year and I learnt that I needed to work harder, it just made me more disciplined. With that said, I do still believe that most of the time our contentment or discontentment is more of a reflection on our inner selves and not so much the situation or circumstances that life brings, which are sometimes out of our control.

Some ways I think you can bring yourself back to a state of contentment is to:

  1. Renew your mind
  2. Make realistic goals
  3. Congratulate yourself

If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, snap out of it. We all do it and sometimes we do not even know we are doing it. Once we become aware, we must snap out of it and renew our minds. Don’t get me wrong, its good to look at someone as motivation. I have so many inspirational women around me that I learn so much from. But its important to know and understand its a journey, and it won’t happen overnight, be happy and proud of where you are now. Read encouraging messages or stories of successful people, most of the time you see the struggle they went through and it humbles you to know that its tough sometimes but it is possible. Renew your mind in anyway possible because life is only as good as your mindset.

Make realistic goals, both small and big and write them down. I learnt the importance of writing things down from one of my aunties. And I remember thinking at the time, its all in my head lol. But no, I’ve noticed I forget so much, and when I look back on notes that I’ve made, I see the importance of writing things down.

Once you achieve a goal whether its big or small acknowledge it and celebrate it. I can almost guarantee that there is definitely someone in the world praying to be in the position you’re in.

Lastly, as a believer, I always do feel that feeling of dissatisfaction is sometimes as a result of a void that only God can fill, but we try to fill with other things that will never ever be enough. Where are you with your relationship with God? That might just be whats missing and causing you discontentment.

I’m not sure who’s quote this is originally but I have referenced my source.

‘No matter where you are in life, celebrate it. It’s either a product of your growth or a place that will help you grow’. ~

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back”                                                                                                                                                              ~ Regina Brett

Life is great, its not perfect and its not actually as long as we thing it is. So we must CHOSE to enjoy it while we are here. Appreciate what you have and where you are.

Remember…this, too, shall pass…

  1. What does being content mean to you?
  2. Topics for next blog post? Vote on the poll below! Comment, let me know you’re thoughts, like and share!

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